LGBTQIA+ Ceremonies
Same care, same craft, none of the assumptions.
This page exists because people ask, quietly and often, whether I am going to be a problem. I am not. I have written weddings for two brides, two grooms, non binary couples and partners in the middle of transition, and the only difference in how I work is that I ask better questions.
Fees are the same as they are for anybody else. A wedding is priced as a wedding, a naming as a naming. There is no separate list.
What being asked properly looks like
Most of the awkwardness in ceremonies comes from wording that was written for one kind of couple and never updated. It is easy to fix if somebody bothers to ask.
- The words you want used for each other. Wife, husband, partner, spouse, or nothing at all.
- Your names and pronouns, checked with each of you separately if that is easier.
- No "who gives this woman", no "man and wife", no processional order you did not choose.
- Two people walking in together, or separately, or already standing there when guests arrive.
- Chosen family given the same standing in the ceremony as blood relatives, because for a lot of people they are.
- A deadname that never appears anywhere, in any draft, at any point.
When the family is complicated
Sometimes a parent is coming and is not entirely comfortable. Sometimes a parent is not coming at all. Neither of those has to become the story of the day, and I have written around both without drawing attention to it.
Tell me in the planning meeting rather than on the morning. Given notice I can shape the running order, the readings and the acknowledgements so that nobody is put on the spot and nobody has to explain anything to anyone.
The legal position, briefly
Same sex marriage has been legal in England and Wales since 2014, and civil partnerships are open to everyone. As with any celebrant ceremony, the legal paperwork is a separate ten minute appointment at a register office, and the ceremony I write is the one your guests actually attend.
If you are converting a civil partnership to a marriage, that is a straightforward administrative process and plenty of couples build a proper ceremony around it years after the fact.
Pride, or not
Some couples want the flag, the colours and a room that leaves nobody in any doubt. Others want a quiet ceremony in a garden that happens to be for two women, with no more made of it than that.
Both are completely reasonable. I will follow your lead rather than deciding for you what your wedding is supposed to mean.
“We had been braced to explain ourselves. We did not have to explain a single thing, and the ceremony was better for it.”
Nadia and ElsWedding, Somerset Levels
What comes with the fee
From £595, with nothing added afterwards.
- Everything listed on the relevant ceremony page, at the same fee
- A private conversation with each of you if you would rather answer some things separately
- Wording checked line by line for anything that assumes the wrong thing
- Names and pronouns confirmed in writing before the first draft
- Help handling family members who need managing on the day
- A celebrant who has done this many times and will not make it a talking point
Other ceremonies
Weddings
A ceremony written around the two of you, held wherever you want it, with the words you actually want said.
Read more
Funerals & Celebrations of Life
A service that sounds like the person it is for, whether that means hymns, silence, or a football chant at the end.
Read more
Renewal of Vows
For an anniversary, a milestone, or simply because you got through something difficult and want to say so out loud.
Read more
Baby Naming Ceremonies
A welcome for a new child, with promises from the people who will help raise them and no religion unless you want it.
Read more